Murphys Laws: The 19 Rules for good Riting to Graditor's Laws
(Murphy's Laws collected: 1583)
The 19 Rules for good Riting : Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
The 19 Rules for good Riting : Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
Goodfader's Law : Under any system, a few sharpies will beat the rest of us.
Goodin's Law of Conversions : The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.
Gordon's First Law : If a research project is not worth doing, it is not worth doing well.
Professor Gordon's Rule of Evolving Bryophytic Systems : While bryophytic plants are typically encountered in substrata of earthy or mineral matter in concreted state, discrete substrata elements occasionally display a roughly spherical configuration which, in presence of suitable gravitational and other effects, lends itself to combined translatory and rotational motion. One notices in such cases an absence of the otherwise typical accretion of bryophyta. We conclude therefore that a rolling stone gathers no moss.
Professor Gordon's Rule of Evolving Bryophytic Systems Corollary (Rutgers) : Generally the subjective value assignable to avian lifeforms, when encountered and considered within the confines of certain orders of woody plants lacking true meristematic dominance, as compared to a possible valuation of these same lifeforms when in the grasp of -- and subject to control by -- the manipulative bone/muscle/nerve complex typically terminating the forelimb of a member of the species homo sapiens (and possibly direct precursors thereof) is approximately five times ten to the minus first power.
Goulden's Axiom of the Bouncing Can : If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.
Goulden's Law of Jury Watching : If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than 24 hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances when it votes guilty.
Graditor's Laws : If it can break, it will, but only after the warranty expires.
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