Murphys Laws: Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager to Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy
(Murphy's Laws collected: 1583)
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : Listen intently while others are arguing the problem. Pounce on a trite statement and bury them with it.
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : Obtain a brilliant assignment, but keep out of sight and out of the limelight.
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : Walk at a fast pace when out of the office -- this keeps questions from subordinates and superiors at a minimum.
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.
Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager : Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
Specht's Meta-Law : Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
Sprinkle's Law : Things always fall at right angles.
Stamp's Statistical Probability : The government is extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts down anything he damn well pleases.
Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy : Everyone should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
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