Slugging Saint

Robert William Service

’Twas in a pub in Battersea
      They call the “Rose and Crown,”
Quite suddenly, it seemed to me,
      The Lord was looking down;
The Lord was looking from above,
      And shiny was His face,
And I was filled with gush of love
      For all the human race.
      
Anon I saw three ancient men
      Who reckoned not of bliss,
And they looked quite astonished when
      I gave them each a kiss.
I kissed each on his balding spot
      With heart of Heaven grace . . .
And then it seemed there was a lot
      Of trouble round the place.

They had me up before the beak,
      But though I told my tale,
He sentanced me to spend a week
      In Yard of Scotland Gaol.
So when they kindly set me free
      Please don’t think it amiss,
If Battling Bill of Battersea,
      For love of all humanity
               Gives you a kiss.

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