Murphys Laws: Katz's Maxims to Key to Status
(Murphy's Laws collected: 1583)
Katz's Maxims : Try to find the real tense of the report you are reading: Was it done, is it being done, or is it something to be done? Reports are now written in four tenses: past tense, present tense, future tense, and pretense. Watch for novel uses of "contractor grammar", defined by the imperfect past, the insufficient present, and the absolutely perfect future.
Kelley's Law : Last guys don't finish nice.
Kelly's Law : An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.
Kennedy's Law : Excessive official restraints on information are inevitably self-defeating and productive of headaches for the officials concerned.
Kent's Law : The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.
Kerr-Martin Law : In dealing with their OWN problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives.
Kerr-Martin Law : In dealing with OTHER people's problems, they are the world's most extreme liberals.
Kettering's Laws : If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.
Kettering's Laws : If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.
Key to Status : S = D/K. S is the status of a person in an organization, D is the number of doors he must open to perform his job, and K is the number of keys he carries. A higher number denotes higher status. Thus the janitor needs to open 20 doors and has 20 keys (S = 1), a secretary has to open two doors with one key (S = 2), but the president never has to carry any keys since there is always someone around to open doors for him (with K = 0 and a high D, his S reaches infinity).
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