Light Bulb Jokes: Cops to Dadaists
(Light Bulb Jokes collected: 1045)
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along.
Q: How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ans : None. I'm not changing a thing
Q: How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ans : The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.
Q: How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : Two--one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go Yeeeee-Hah ! and throw his hat in the air.
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : Four, one to change the lightbulb, and the other three to sing about how much they miss the old one.
Q: How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : Two. One to do it and one to write a crappy folk song about it.
Q: How many Cricket Test Match Special commentators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : Four. One to change it, one to eat the lovely chocolate cake sent in by the Bournemouth Womens Institute, one to say Now when was the last time we had to change a light bulb on-air - wasn't it 1989 at Lords ? and one to comment on the lovely red bus going down the Oxford Road.
Q: How many cryonicists does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans : Four - One to ensure that the light bulb is certifiably dead, one to perfuse it with cryoprotectants, one to slowly cool it to liquid nitrogen temperature, and one to wait two hundred years for technology to advance sufficiently to revive it.
Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : To get to the other side.
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