Light Bulb Jokes: People to Pessimists
(Light Bulb Jokes collected: 1045)
Q: How many people does it take to throw away a one WATT bulb??
Ans : Five. A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans : Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
Q: How many people in a Burger King advert does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : None. I can't change my lightbulb. But I can change my burger to a Burger King burger.
Q: How many people of the anti-matter Universe does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : Minus 2. -1 to change the bulb, -1 to have a fight with Captain Kirk.
Q: How many people on Get Stuffed does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : Four. Two to trot merrily down to the shops to buy a new one, of whom person 1 then rips it unceremoniously out of its packaging and person 2 starts to do the changing, and the 2 Mystery Chefs to interrupt and tell us he's doing it all wrong.
Q: How many people with multiple personality disorder does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : One, but they're really three.
Q: How many Perot supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans : None, they all just quit and go home!
Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans : None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out anyway.
Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : It doesn't matter; they think that all the available bulbs won't light up.
Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either.
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