Light Bulb Jokes: Sheep to Soccer Players
(Light Bulb Jokes collected: 1045)
Q: How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.
Q: How many Shiites does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans : Four. One to hijack a light bulb, one to commandeer a jet to the Beirut airport, one to hold press conferences, and one to negotiate with Israel and the US for the release of fluorescent bulbs held in hostage around the world!
Q: How many shipping dept. personnel does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ans : We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before 2pm and pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.
Q: How many signal processing engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : Three. One to Fouriev transform the lightbulb, one to apply a complex exponential rotational shifting operator, and one to inverse transform the removed lightbulb.
Q: How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : Three. One to screw it in and two to hold his pants up.
Q: How many small-town people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : Two, one to do it and a cop to make sure he isn't doing it too fast.
Q: How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ans : At least five. If they all light up together the lightbulb will do so too.
Q: How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : Three. One to hoof it from defence, one to put it in, one to jump on the other two to celebrate.
Q: How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
Ans : 15 - One to put the bulb in, 10 to kiss him afterwards, and the other side's back four to all stand around and put their hands up.
Q: How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
Ans : Five. One to get into position to screw it in, one to kick the legs out from under him, one to snatch the lightbulb and pass it to his mate who, then goes and screws it in over the other side of the room, and one to roll around on the floor pretending to be really injured.
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